why one might choose to give up the security of a three-year graduate program to wind up back on the job hunt when most of these infrequent entries have documented the plight of the overworked and underpaid is beyond me. suffice it to say, i'm happier when i'm out in the field than sitting on my ass. january concludes my first month as an out-of-work member of the entertainment industry (which, in LA, is jargon for "human being"), so i thought i would sum it up with some of my favorite experiences from my job search thus far:
first, there was the interview that ended before the actual start time. eager to make a good impression, i showed up to that ill-fated starbucks ten minutes early. i didn't even have time to order a beverage: in between checking her pink iPhone, the "producer" (i use this term loosely) managed to ask me a few industry-related questions, before announcing that we were done. this was just the first time i would find myself asking, "didn't you ask me to meet you?"
next, the oversexed but devilishly handsome british man who wanted me to manage his company (and was clear to inquire as to whether massage therapy was on my list of additional skills). creepiness aside, things were going swimmingly until he offered the job to his brother.
then, trying to scrape any form of income together, i applied for a salon receptionist position. i was shocked to get an interview, having virtually no experience, and had a really charming conversation with the owner about chicago, juggling and, oh yes, the fact that i was not qualified. (again, "didn't you ask me to come in?")
and oh, the job that (almost!) was. assistant at this really top-name commercial company. down to me and two others. the woman was from connecticut! she lauded smith college as a haven for today's most driven intellectuals (this was correct, of course). it looked as though i had it in the bag - until, that is, she moved forward with another applicant.
most ridiculous are the e-mails: "be my manager, i'm a twenty-year-old has-been recording artist (apparently that's a thing here) with several major lawsuits against me, but i want to clear my reputation by going on maury!" "come work for us, but first: take this 100 point questionnaire to see if you fit in with our company (oh yeah, and scientology)." even the sweeter, "we're an up-and-coming theatre company, please help us produce this play and, no, we can't afford to pay you," is getting on my nerves at this point. me, the maven of storefront theatres!
if this is what january had to offer, i'm ready for the shortest month. at least i can take comfort in the arms of my newfound, heteronormative bliss. or take our totally clichéd dog for a walk and get back to the real world.