life in the top one percent

important things i have learned this week:

• I am not a 300 lb. man
• I am a reality star
• I should maybe start applying to jobs that are within my reach...

we bought a couch this week, which is great because it saves one of us from sitting atop a pile of pillows every night while watching wheel of fortune. there's this great goodwill shop up on clark, the brown elephant, that has a great rotating cast of furniture, vinyls and tiny ceramic animals. i'll post pictures as soon as i take the batteries out of the swiffer wet jet (another important thing i learned about this week, come to think of it). in any event, i rented a u-haul cargo van and got the couch to the apartment. shira and i did not stop, however, to think about how to get the sucker up to the third floor. 45 minutes, one sprained wrist and one thrown-out back later, the couch was still on the ground. we were miserable. however, once again fortune smiled on me, and the lovely gay gentlemen downstairs showed how much tougher they were than a couple of lesbians and benchpressed the thing up all three flights.

speaking of fortune smiling down, i had my callback for the reality tv show, and it was my most terrifying experience to date awesome. really, though. the callback proved that there were some cool people involved, the producers were warm and inviting and, best of all, offered me the job on the spot. filming will commence on sunday, sept. 20. elizabeth is convinced it's the big break i've been looking for. i'm convinced i won't live to see sept. 21. i'm not willing to bet on my life, however. i'm not that broke (yet). i got the scripts, though, and (spoiler alert!) they include gang-banging and narcotics - surprise! honestly, though, i can't frigging wait. i think it's going to be a great time. mom's going to be in town for the shooting. i mean, the filming! wish us luck.

i actually did land a job this week - an internship, that is. it is with about face theatre, a company that is involved in LGBT visibility in the city and has workshopped or produced some of my favorite plays, like i am my own wife. i start on thursday! unfortunately, it's unpaid, but in the meantime, i've been applying to very worthwhile jobs. to name a few: an "extra" in the upcoming film "little fockers," the "superstar" executive assistant for a ceo matchmaking company, and cycle 14 of america's next top model.

....i think i'm starting to realize why no one has offered me a paying position.

i may have to live with the fact that the world is still not ready to handle what i have to offer, and settle for part-time retail right now. until i get the film reel from AMW, of course. that is my golden ticket.

i also started exploring different parts of the city this week (south side excluded). i visited my friend duncan in old town, and we walked along lake shore drive and through the very fanciest parts of lincoln park. then shira and i went out with some of her friends to boystown (if you missed the innuendo, some of the bars there were called things like "cocktail" and "man hole"), where i met my first male stripper in sweatpants. it was as unfortunate as it sounds. this weekend i visited the chicago botanic gardens in glencoe (a suburb), which were so, so beautiful. they had a japanese garden, a rose garden, and an english garden, complete with this violin-playing duo specializing in turning broadway hits into slow, painful dirges, including "sunrise, sunset" and "on the street where you live." the shoot this weekend is in hyde park and, if i make it back alive, i have plans to see the modern exhibit at the art institute!

excelle (a spinoff of monster.com)  had an article this week about a woman in texas who lost her job and took the opportunity to pay off all her bills, join a garden club, travel through europe, catch up with old friends and get a great new job in a field she loves where she can work from home. she called it a "no-job vacation."  fuck her. i would like to encourage all of you to boycott excelle, and any other fascist literature that so  obviously caters to those who have the luxury of fancy severance packages and occupy the top one percent. there's a reason she's single!

for now, though, the sun is setting on another beautiful chicago evening, and i'm going to enjoy the view from the back deck, before winter sets in for the next eight months...

missing you all, always.